fashionplate08.thethinkingjehovahswitnessdiscussionforum
- Gender: Female
- Location: MD US
| Total Posts | Last Post | Last Seen | Joined |
|---|---|---|---|
| 266 | 12/09/09 17:04:47 | 12/15/09 10:48:21 | 05/14/09 |
| Visitors Now | Visitors Today | Most Visits | Total Visits |
|---|---|---|---|
| 0 | 0 | 28 05/28/09 |
150 |
Music I listen to
Love Coldplay and Greenday and Smashing Pumpkins, and old Alanis Morrissette, as well as many other female singers/song-writers, mostly soft rock or
alternative.
Interesting facts about me
Newest news for me;
I somehow just survived a major brain hemmorrage deep inside and a stroke like event in brain surgery, in Feb 2008 while I was at Johns Hopkins Hospital for a brain tumor biopsy; however, my neurosurgeon fucked up and he did something making my brain bleed uncontrollably for long enough to kill me twice - had to be revived obviously. I was subsequently in a coma for 2 weeks and they didn't think I'd live let alone be not retarded or blind or deaf - I survived due to pure grit I think, as I refused to fucking die or be retarded/mentally challenged - then I went into physical therapy at a rehab hospice for old folks for 6 weeks. It was miserable to learn how to walk again and to feel so weak and frail and be thought of an invalid.At some point I found myself wondering why I didn't cry about all this shit, then realized I was still alive. I managed to recover fairly quickly in 7 weeks to the point they let me go home, that was somewha unexpected, my doctors never held out much hope for me.I'm still not right mentally or emotionally, I have weird uncontrollable out-bursts of intense anger, and more bothersome is that my left side has lingering partial paralysis and a 'central pain syndrome' common in stroke patients. I finally found out almost a year later that the doctor dug the tumor out of my brain without my consent or my husband's consent or even knowledge of what happened to me. My MRI shows a golf ball sized hole now. These doctors are bullet proof as for liability due to prohibitive state laws here. Either way it sucks to be me.
Yet it's very tough to sue in my state of Maryland due to anti- litigation laws, and right wing agendas which became laws to protect doctors and leave patients screwed up stranded and disabled.. The doctors there at Hopkins [supposedly the best US hospital..... my ass] they still won't tell me what was specifically done in my brain, but we know he made my brain bleed uncontrollably, he cut a huge piece of my skull open to suck out all the pooled blood, and then put it back on crooked and shaved off my long hair and gave me a central pain syndrome [ weirdly, I can't do simple things like math - I lost it all and gained loads of anxiety and stress, plus 30frigging pounds due to them giving me steroids, I can not seem to lose, and I'm disabled on my left side and make lots of typing errors, I lost my $50K a year job too - and my health insurance is gone,on as I don't qualify for commercially available plans, and I was laid off permanently [fired due to my new disability, if truth be told].
My husband takes care of me on a daily basis, as I have a hard time doing even the simplest daily tasks, much less more complicated tasks. I lose my train of thought a lot, get confused a great deal, repeat my sentences and then my anxiety level spikes, freaking me out, right now I take medication which makes me very sleepy and dull-witted, it's to prevent seizures and help dull the nerve pain from the botched surgery.
I think my former sense of humor is nearly missing now; it really takes a lot to make me laugh much less out loud. I used to laugh a lot. If I didn't have a man who stuck by me, in richer & poorer, in sickness & health, I'd be gone by now. He really kept on the pressure on the doctors to save my life in the hospital, who'd almost lost hope. He didn't which is a great thing really, his loyalty is amazing.
I adore Sci-Fi entertainment, movies, shows, you name it.And I'm pet lover big time. Also anything featuring dogs or horses or both. I'd love to own a horse though it's unlikely I could ride it much; still. It's a dream anyway. My goal now is to get back a measure of my health and possibly start a small business again and make some money so my old ass house can be fixed up.
i have one son aged 30 now and he moved to Houston TX to live with some girl he met online!!! WOW!! CRAZY. He got a job with very high pay and benefits, working in computers of course, and works for some gov't agency now. We hardly see him or hear from him and it sort of depresses us - we only have the one child and he is very smart and went to a good private college and then dropped out for his last year but is a genius anyway and got this great job minus his degree - I wish he'd call me more. We used to be close but not any longer by his choice. Which "IS" his choice I guess. It still hurts though to be cast aside.
I'm really into animals more than humans; I own 2 huge dogs - Zeus & Zev, the Giant Schnauzer and the Rottweiler my 2 best friends forever. I love them as much as I love my human son and my husband - they're my replacements for human friends - whom I do not trust any more at all. I don't like peeps much frankly. I love the four legged variety most.
Talk about unsocialized. I think this is one of the really lingering issues from being raised a JW. Lack of ability to make friends in the world. I'm used to being alone now, so I do like it I guess.
I somehow just survived a major brain hemmorrage deep inside and a stroke like event in brain surgery, in Feb 2008 while I was at Johns Hopkins Hospital for a brain tumor biopsy; however, my neurosurgeon fucked up and he did something making my brain bleed uncontrollably for long enough to kill me twice - had to be revived obviously. I was subsequently in a coma for 2 weeks and they didn't think I'd live let alone be not retarded or blind or deaf - I survived due to pure grit I think, as I refused to fucking die or be retarded/mentally challenged - then I went into physical therapy at a rehab hospice for old folks for 6 weeks. It was miserable to learn how to walk again and to feel so weak and frail and be thought of an invalid.At some point I found myself wondering why I didn't cry about all this shit, then realized I was still alive. I managed to recover fairly quickly in 7 weeks to the point they let me go home, that was somewha unexpected, my doctors never held out much hope for me.I'm still not right mentally or emotionally, I have weird uncontrollable out-bursts of intense anger, and more bothersome is that my left side has lingering partial paralysis and a 'central pain syndrome' common in stroke patients. I finally found out almost a year later that the doctor dug the tumor out of my brain without my consent or my husband's consent or even knowledge of what happened to me. My MRI shows a golf ball sized hole now. These doctors are bullet proof as for liability due to prohibitive state laws here. Either way it sucks to be me.
Yet it's very tough to sue in my state of Maryland due to anti- litigation laws, and right wing agendas which became laws to protect doctors and leave patients screwed up stranded and disabled.. The doctors there at Hopkins [supposedly the best US hospital..... my ass] they still won't tell me what was specifically done in my brain, but we know he made my brain bleed uncontrollably, he cut a huge piece of my skull open to suck out all the pooled blood, and then put it back on crooked and shaved off my long hair and gave me a central pain syndrome [ weirdly, I can't do simple things like math - I lost it all and gained loads of anxiety and stress, plus 30frigging pounds due to them giving me steroids, I can not seem to lose, and I'm disabled on my left side and make lots of typing errors, I lost my $50K a year job too - and my health insurance is gone,on as I don't qualify for commercially available plans, and I was laid off permanently [fired due to my new disability, if truth be told].
My husband takes care of me on a daily basis, as I have a hard time doing even the simplest daily tasks, much less more complicated tasks. I lose my train of thought a lot, get confused a great deal, repeat my sentences and then my anxiety level spikes, freaking me out, right now I take medication which makes me very sleepy and dull-witted, it's to prevent seizures and help dull the nerve pain from the botched surgery.
I think my former sense of humor is nearly missing now; it really takes a lot to make me laugh much less out loud. I used to laugh a lot. If I didn't have a man who stuck by me, in richer & poorer, in sickness & health, I'd be gone by now. He really kept on the pressure on the doctors to save my life in the hospital, who'd almost lost hope. He didn't which is a great thing really, his loyalty is amazing.
I adore Sci-Fi entertainment, movies, shows, you name it.And I'm pet lover big time. Also anything featuring dogs or horses or both. I'd love to own a horse though it's unlikely I could ride it much; still. It's a dream anyway. My goal now is to get back a measure of my health and possibly start a small business again and make some money so my old ass house can be fixed up.
i have one son aged 30 now and he moved to Houston TX to live with some girl he met online!!! WOW!! CRAZY. He got a job with very high pay and benefits, working in computers of course, and works for some gov't agency now. We hardly see him or hear from him and it sort of depresses us - we only have the one child and he is very smart and went to a good private college and then dropped out for his last year but is a genius anyway and got this great job minus his degree - I wish he'd call me more. We used to be close but not any longer by his choice. Which "IS" his choice I guess. It still hurts though to be cast aside.
I'm really into animals more than humans; I own 2 huge dogs - Zeus & Zev, the Giant Schnauzer and the Rottweiler my 2 best friends forever. I love them as much as I love my human son and my husband - they're my replacements for human friends - whom I do not trust any more at all. I don't like peeps much frankly. I love the four legged variety most.
Talk about unsocialized. I think this is one of the really lingering issues from being raised a JW. Lack of ability to make friends in the world. I'm used to being alone now, so I do like it I guess.
My recent posts
| Title | Type | Date |
|---|---|---|
| Re: revised plans :-) | Reply | 12/09/09 |
| Re: End times | Reply | 12/02/09 |
| Re: End times | Reply | 12/02/09 |
| Re: End times | Reply | 12/02/09 |
| Re: Good article about scientology in Time | Reply | 11/30/09 |
| Re: Instead of swearing what did you say ? | Reply | 11/30/09 |
| Re: Instead of swearing what did you say ? | Reply | 11/28/09 |
| Re: Why am I so concerned with what a bunch of brainwashed cult members think of me?? | Reply | 11/26/09 |
| Re: Marrying a non-Witness caused disfellowshipping? | Reply | 11/26/09 |
| Re: Thanksgiving- Do Jdubs do TG? | Reply | 11/26/09 |
Leave a comment
Cacky
08/17/09
I've been reading your comments and began to wonder about the illness you alluded to. Sorry to hear of all your health problems, and your husband's. My husband has had some pretty heady stuff done, he had his bladder removed, and basically everything else in the pelvic region, because of cancer. He previously had really bad back problems. I just have arthritis, but it hurts and we are getting older, too, we're 50 now.
I've noticed when it comes to grown kids, they seem to turn back to their parents once they have kids of their own. Until then they kind of go off on their own.
We have two dogs, too, though ours are smaller, a schnoodle and a westie. We live in an apartment.
I wish you a good day.
Take care,
Cacky
sinsleepy
05/24/09
I came to your profile to see who I was reading a post from. You really made me feel like somebody with what you wrote on my story,born,bred and beaten into the truth.
Although you say I am a survivor,I can only comment on how you,my dear,are yourself a survivor. I thank you for the confidence you just gave me in perhaps trying to get this story out there in a published form. Matters not to me,unless it helps someone.
And you my friend. I feel you about not tolerating humans. They are mostly rotten to the core. I am glad you have your husband. I cannot imagine the suffering you went through and are still going through.
I just went with a friend to see a stroke victim in a nursing home. I could not keep my big mouth shut to all the neglect I saw. Nurses just sitting around and when asked to do for a patient,they were in no hurry. I wanted two washclothes to clean our friends' face and hands and I had to go through four nurse staff just to get them. His own nurse said "oh,I'll probably do that later tonight." I said that a herd of cattle gets treated better than this. Give me the damn washclothes and let me do it now. I got them,but compassion was not in that place.
Your doctor needs to be awake and in brain surgery to remove what he isnt using anyway. I too detest people for the most part. I love this sight and most of the folks on here. My Willow and Jake are my furry kids and I feel about them the way you must about your own.
Please accept my love,friendship and the care I have for you and let me keep you in my mind and heart,for I have great respect for you( and your husband for being so good to you.) I know not where you live,but wherever in this crappy world you are,I will be thinking of you and sending warm wishes your way. I want to make a difference. I just dont know how.
Hope this doesnt sound too stupid
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